• Jane Douglas

What people like you know about losing someone you love

Even though you do not need to fear deep love you still will. Because you are human and because deep love feels like a risky business.

You have probably noticed the inner shrinking that arrives when things start to go too deep in your relationships? Perhaps you notice that you pull away or close off, keep things light or play things down? You may not call it fear, but it is. Fear is taking over, sneaking in and contracting your heart to half its size, squeezing your breath into a such tight space you can hardly draw in air. Fear is only doing its job, trying to keep you safe, safe from the hurt of a painful ending.

But, if you have suffered a painful ending in the past, then you know something only others like you know.

You know that even though the pain may never completely disappear, love is greater than the pain, and the ending can be endured. You know the love awakened in you, (by daring to love deeply) was actually yours as much as it was theirs and that it lives in you as who you are. It has not disappeared because the person disappeared from your life. Maybe you have even learnt to accept the pain as a reminder of the love that lives in you, as reminder that you are capable of such love?

So rather than let fear close us off, let's welcome fear to the party. Welcome it as a sign that we are capable of experiencing deep love, let's not offer a shallow version of our love out of fear, let's offer our love deeply.

Jane Douglas

#trueself #emotionalwounds